Check out this review of TOMORROW I BECOME A WOMAN by Chiemena Egu.
I read Tomorrow I Become a Woman by Aiwanose Odafen, and that fear erupted again. At first, I did not want to read it. I said, “Not another book about women suffering in their marriages.” I have read Stay with Me, His Only Wife, Purple Hibiscus, and many others not to want my heart ripped open again. Eventually, the FOMO got to me, and I realized that this is our reality, our story, and who can tell it better than us?
The beginning was slow for me, but it picked up. The story is about Obianuju, a girl who was taught that she was nothing without a husband, and after marriage, she was nothing without a son.
Even with the gift of the internet, some women believe their fulfillment lies in having a husband to show for it. I get it; humans crave companionship. Set shortly after the Biafran war, the events in this book triggered me.
I caught a glimpse of how the world worked when I was barely five. My mother called my sisters and me one fateful night to pray that the next child in her womb is a boy, so our father’s people do not chase her away. I watched my mom immerse herself in several church activities for women seeking the fruit of the womb. I read Obiageli and her friends do the same. Adaugo, the most beautiful of the trio and the one who played hard to get, suddenly became a religious fanatic in a bid to become a mother to a baby boy.
Even when it is said that love conquers all, it is not the same with inter-tribal marriages. There is often a need to prove that you are good enough. Unlike her friends, Chinelo fought tooth and nail to marry her Yoruba boyfriend at a time when it was considered taboo. Yet, she was not entirely welcomed by his family. She wanted more children to solidify her place as a wife. Why do we always need other people’s validation to our detriment of ourselves?
My phobia of Christianity stems from the way women are treated in their marriages, even when there is domestic abuse. We are told to endure, be soft, pliant, and as cool as a cucumber, not to argue and face the rage of our husbands. Why should I be scared of the one I have promised to have and to hold? I was more enraged when Obiageli’s mom said her daughter deserved the beating meted out to her.
